For my grandmother, it was divorce. Divorce was something that wasn't to be mentioned, not just in polite company, but at all. When one of her sisters divorced her husband, the rest of the family didn't know the truth for several years. Her ex-husband simply stopped coming to family events, and no one really knew why. Divorce was a taboo topic.
It almost seems quaint to talk about taboo topics in our tell-all culture. We, as the American public, seem to have little hesitation about telling the world intimate details of our lives on reality TV shows, in confessional memoirs, and in our blogs. And yet, for all of the information that we share, there are many things that we don't talk about very well. Death, politics, and religion come to mind. All of these topics are polarized and polarizing, reduced to shallow sound bites or just avoided altogether. In many ways, they are still taboo in our society.
This week, I've attended two events to promote a new book called Talking Taboo: American Christian Women Get Frank About Faith, edited by Erin Lane and Enuma Okoro. It includes essays from forty Christian women under the age of forty, talking about subjects that they believe are taboo in their faith communities, from sexuality to being single to domestic violence, and yes, even divorce. It is revealing to see what is considered off-limits by different communities, and how these writers address their topics.
It gets me thinking about what I consider to be taboo in my own life. How did it get to be that way, and why don't I want to talk about it? How about you? What are the things that have been taboo for you, when you were growing up and now? Why don't you want to talk about them?
I'm not saying that we should all go out and talk about whatever it is that is most taboo for us. But it wouldn't hurt to think about why we consider some topics off limits, and the effect that is has on us and others. And while you're at it, check out Talking Taboo. It will give you food for thought.
