Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Taboo

For my grandmother, it was divorce.  Divorce was something that wasn't to be mentioned, not just in polite company, but at all.  When one of her sisters divorced her husband, the rest of the family didn't know the truth for several years.  Her ex-husband simply stopped coming to family events, and no one really knew why.  Divorce was a taboo topic.

It almost seems quaint to talk about taboo topics in our tell-all culture.  We, as the American public, seem to have little hesitation about telling the world intimate details of our lives on reality TV shows, in confessional memoirs, and in our blogs.  And yet, for all of the information that we share, there are many things that we don't talk about very well.  Death, politics, and religion come to mind.  All of these topics are polarized and polarizing, reduced to shallow sound bites or just avoided altogether.  In many ways, they are still taboo in our society.

This week, I've attended two events to promote a new book called Talking Taboo:  American Christian Women Get Frank About Faith, edited by Erin Lane and Enuma Okoro.  It includes essays from forty Christian women under the age of forty, talking about subjects that they believe are taboo in their faith communities, from sexuality to being single to domestic violence, and yes, even divorce.  It is revealing to see what is considered off-limits by different communities, and how these writers address their topics.

It gets me thinking about what I consider to be taboo in my own life.  How did it get to be that way, and why don't I want to talk about it?  How about you?  What are the things that have been taboo for you, when you were growing up and now?  Why don't you want to talk about them?

I'm not saying that we should all go out and talk about whatever it is that is most taboo for us.  But it wouldn't hurt to think about why we consider some topics off limits, and the effect that is has on us and others.  And while you're at it, check out Talking Taboo.  It will give you food for thought.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Must love dogs

God made the wild animals of the earth of every kind, and the cattle of every kind, and everything that creeps upon the ground of every kind. And God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:25

Yesterday many congregations celebrated the feast of St. Francis of Assisi, a monk and preacher born in the 12th century.  Francis was known for his compassion for the poor and for animals.  One legend surrounding Francis tells of a wolf that was terrorizing the people of a small town.  In desperation, the townspeople asked Francis to help them.  Through his kindness and innate connection with animals, Francis was able to help the wolf and the townspeople come to an understanding:  the wolf would no longer harm the people of the town, and in return, the people promised to feed and care for the wolf for the rest of his life.  The legend ends with peace and harmony for all.  

The congregation I attended yesterday didn't have a blessing of the animals service, although I know that many others did in honor of St. Francis.  Fittingly, though, in the afternoon Adam, Filo, and I went to a festival called Woofstock.  Held in the same location as the Durham Farmers' Market, Woofstock was like a farmers' market/carnival for dogs.  There was a frisbee competition, free nail trims, and lots of vendors, where you could purchase everything from toys to hand-painted bowls for your dog.  Filo loved the agility course, where he jumped over obstacles and crawled through tunnels.  He received enough free samples of treats that we won't have to buy him any for months!  

It was a fun afternoon for all of us!  When I got home, I read a beautiful post by Lutheran pastor, professor, and author David Lose on why dogs are our best friends, and I heartily agreed with what he had to say.  (You can read the post here:  http://www.davidlose.net/2013/10/why-dogs-are-our-best-friends).  It includes a wonderful video that powerfully captures the love that develops between a little boy and a dog, which is definitely worth the few minutes that it takes to watch.  I cried and felt very grateful for the amazing dogs who have shared my life.

After I watched the video and finished crying, I had some time to think about why I love Filo (and dogs  in general) so much.  There are so many reasons:  Filo has an enthusiasm about life for which I have rarely seen a match.  He loves meeting people, dogs, squirrels, and anything else that moves.  He is excited to see everyone who crosses his path, wagging his tail and sometimes, to my chagrin, jumping up to say hello.  Filo doesn't care who you are, what you do, what you're worried about, how you've messed up, or what you are wearing.  He just wants you to love him.  Filo also has a wonderful habit of getting as physically close as possible to people when they are sad, anxious, angry, or not feeling well.  When I'm upset, Filo always makes me feel better by curling up in my lap or nosing his way into my space with his bright brown eyes and tail wagging.  

I know that I'm not alone in feeling this way about my beloved dog friend.   We have much to learn from our non-human companions:  about living with abandon each day, taking a risk to greet everyone who crosses our path with an open heart (or at least a friendly tail wag), being honest about our emotions, and chasing our dreams.   (Case in point:  Filo has never actually caught a squirrel, but he doesn't let that stop him.  He keeps trying on every walk we take.  I might not always like it, but he is persistent, and he keeps his dream and hope alive, day after day!)

Filo and other animals teach me lessons that I can't learn from classes or books or in words.  The lessons cover things like hospitality, making time for play every day, and excitement about having new adventures.  Also, trusting that basic needs will be met, that people are basically good, and that I can learn something about a person who is wearing black pants that are about to be covered in fur from my golden retriever's enthusiastically wagging tail.  

Upon creating animals, God proclaimed that they were very good.  To me, they are one of God's great gifts to humanity, and a continuous source of abundant goodness who enrich our lives and have so much to teach us.  What have you learned from the animals with whom you share your lives?  How would you be different without them?  If you don't share your life with a pet, what have you learned about life by watching other animals?    

Monday, September 30, 2013

Running buddy

I've been running off and on since college.  Of the many reasons I was excited to bring Filo home, one of them was the prospect of running with him.  The breeder told us to wait until Filo was 18 months old before running with him, to give his hips the chance to fully develop first.  On the very day that he turned 18 months old, Adam and I took him for a run.  He loved it!  Filo is fast and he loves to race along most any surface.  When he and I run, he often looks back at me with a little grin, as if to say, "This is the best!"

Filo is a great running buddy.  He is always ready, no matter the weather or time of day.  He helps me to notice all of the squirrels in our path, as well as people, other dogs, and hidden treasures like the half-eaten cupcake he found this weekend.  Sadly, I took it right out of his mouth.

Lately, Filo and I have had company on our runs.  My neighbor is training for a half-marathon and asked me if I wanted to run with her.  I said that I did, so we run together several times a week, and we bring our dogs.  On Saturday morning, we ran 4 miles around Duke's East and West campuses, and I thought about how I was living a dream.  I was running on Duke's campus on a gorgeously cool  morning--a long held wish, helping a friend achieve her goal, and my beloved Filo was with me.

I just might register for this half-marathon.  It's never really been a goal of mine, but why not?  If I'm going to train for one, I may as well run in it.  It isn't something that I would do on my own, but with the support of human and canine running buddies, I'm part of a tiny community.  It is great.

Has a friend ever encouraged you to do something that you hadn't considered before?  Did you do it?  If so, did you have a "running buddy"?  

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Story people

We are all people of stories...story people.  "Story People" is the name of an art series created by Brian Andreas that captures poignant, powerful, and funny moments of life in brightly colored stick figures and carefully chosen words(www.storypeople.com).  Through his art, he tells stories of life.

The stories of our lives are both familiar and hidden.  There are family stories that have been told so often that they become legends: stories of how people met, births, Christmases, and ordinary days where something unusual happened.  In my family, some of these stories include the Christmas that my brother and mom got my dad a puppy that he first thought was a stuffed bear, the story of my birth, and the day that we returned from vacation to discover that my cat had died while our neighbor was watching her.  (On that last one, our neighbor was distraught about the cat's death, and the rest of us were...not so much.  We were sad that the cat died, but we are definitely dog people.  Good to know).  Often when we tell these legendary, familiar stories, we tell them in the same way every time, so others who know the story can jump in and continue with the same words we would have used.  Stories are foundational to life.

Although we shape our own stories, the stories of our lives also shape us.  They help us understand our families, our identity, and what is important to us.  Stories tell us important truths about faith, life, what we deem valuable, and how we come to view the world.  They connect us with the past and give us hope for the future.  Stories shape us as people, communities, nations, and people of faith.  In a very real sense, we are all made up of the stories that we accept and reject, that limit and expand our lives, that tell us who we are and who we are not.  Stories are a gift and a heritage, a warning and a promise, a way to understand life itself.

In the book of Deuteronomy, Moses shares the words of God that are to make up the story that that defines the people of Israel, both then and now.  "Hear O Israel:  The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.  Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart.  Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise" (Deuteronomy 6:4-7).

Israel's story says that they are God's people, that they are to love God with everything they are, and that they are to share this story with their children and among themselves, at all times and forever.  This is a story that shapes human beings on every possible level.  It has been told in the same words for thousands of years, becoming deeply ingrained in the very being of those who know and cherish it.  This cherished story shapes both Judaism and Christianity, telling us who we are and whose we are.  It is one of the very foundational Judeo-Christian stories that has been shared and become part of the heart of countless people.

What are the stories that shape your life:  the ones that you know and tell, and the ones that are a bit more hidden?  How do you shape your stories?  Do you have some stories that you cherish more than the rest?  What are they, and with whom do you share them?


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Working like a Hebrew slave

I was standing in line at the post office when I overheard one man greeting another.  "How have you been?" said the first.  "Working like a Hebrew slave," replied the second.  Wow.  Talk about an unexpected response.  I wonder what the man meant when he said that.  The beginning of the book of Exodus tells of the 430 years that the Israelites (the Hebrews) are enslaved to the Egyptians.  Exodus describes the slavery of the Israelites in this way.  "The Egyptians became ruthless in imposing tasks on the Israelites, and made their lives bitter with hard service in mortar and brick and every kind of field labor.  They were ruthless in all the tasks they imposed on them" (Exodus 1:13-14).

How many of us think of work as hard service that is imposed on us and has a tendency to make us bitter?  Few of us would actually use those words to describe the work that we do, but there are responsibilities in every job that we don't choose, that feel imposed on us, and can make us feel bitter at times!  I wonder about the relationship that we have with work in our culture.  Sometimes it is portrayed as the be-all and end-all of our existence.  When you meet someone new, the first question you are often asked after your name is, "And what do you do?"  Meaning, how do you earn a living, how does your job define you, what assumptions can I make about you based on your job title?  At the same time, work is also seen as a drag, something from which we long to escape.  Think about movies like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," how much productive time at work is lost to the Internet, and how much we love long weekends.  We have a paradoxical relationship with work, and yet, God created us to be creatures who need to work in order to thrive.

In the book of Genesis, God created Adam, the first human, and gave him the responsibility of naming the living creatures that God brought into being (Genesis 2:19-20a).  What a great privilege, to think of names for God's creatures!  Work is not supposed to be the drudgery that it so often turns out to be.  Work is meant to be a way that we partner with God in the ongoing creation of the world.  When you engage in conversation with someone, fix something that is broken, make a meal, soothe a child, or teach a class, you are helping to create something that did not exist before you got to work.  You are helping God with the continual work of renewing the world by creating what did not exist before you came.

This is a small snapshot of the way it is meant to be.  God does not intend for anyone to work like a Hebrew slave, expending all of their efforts for a harsh, cruel taskmaster.  Work should be part of our satisfaction in life, a way that we contribute to the world around us, as we are treated fairly and compensated justly for what we do.  Obviously, there are relatively few people in the world who can describe what they do every day as matching up with this idealized picture of work.  There are so many factors that contribute to the kind of work we do--our current life circumstances, whether we work inside or outside the home, if we work for pay, education, constraints on our time, obligations that we must meet in a variety of categories, and whether we are able to find work at all.  And that only scratches the surface of the factors that go into our working lives.

I think about the residents of the prison where I am taking my Biblical Incarceration class.  Last week, one of the women described the variety of job opportunities and work environments within the correctional facility.  She works making license plates for the state DMV.  Other women learn about horticulture or work in the kitchen.  Some have outside jobs.  The highest paid job that this woman mentioned was answering the telephone at the state visitors' bureau.  For that, you can receive up to $3 a day, plus overtime, once you have worked there for a certain amount of time and meet specific conditions.

Three dollars a day.  I consider those wages to be in the "working like a Hebrew slave" category, and most of the jobs described paid far less than that.  Hearing about these kind of experiences certainly gives me a whole new perspective on my work life.  How would you describe your working life?  Does it allow you to make a positive contribution to the world?  Is it a fair working environment where you are justly compensated--financially or otherwise?  How do you balance the ideal description of what work should be with how you actually experience work in your own life?

What is the work that you would most like to do in the world?  If you are not currently engaged in doing it, what is stopping you?  How do you reconcile the ideal with the real when it comes to work?

Thursday, September 5, 2013

On being a bike commuter

The last time I was in a car was on Saturday.  I am very happy about that.  Since we live so close to campus, I bike to school every day.  I've also gotten in the habit of running errands on my bike.  I've been to the pharmacy, purchased school supplies, gotten my hair cut, gone to the bookstore and the grocery store, all on my bike.  I have a specific point on my ride home from school where I smile, take in the scenery, and think how great it is that I get to bike every day.

It has been a learning experience, for sure.  Everything takes a little longer on my bike, and I am now always scanning for bike racks when I arrive at my destination.  Although there are road signs all over Durham that remind drivers to share the road with bike, sometimes the cars whiz by awfully close.  I think twice about what I bring with me or purchase on my bike.  Everything that I bring along or acquire needs to go back with me, and I often need to pedal it up several hills.  I have accepted that for this time in my life, I am just going to be sweaty a lot, or be rained on.  I carry a towel with me everywhere.

And you know what?  I love being a bike commuter.  It is something that Adam and I have wanted to try.  It would be great if we could sell one of our cars someday and use our bikes to replace it.  I don't know if that will actually happen, but I am really enjoying it for now.  I hardly ever have to buy gas, find a place to park, or wonder what the rattling noise on the car means.  I like that I am being more environmentally friendly.  I get some exercise every day, and I am getting to know a new city in a whole new way.

Instead of being enclosed in my car bubble, I pedal along the streets, and I'm in a position to make eye contact and say hi to the people who are walking or waiting for the bus.  I notice street signs, restaurants, kids and dogs in a way that I haven't before.  I feel like I am more a part of this new place, because I am literally putting in all sorts of energy to explore it.  I am more aware of the many different life situations that people are in.  I ride my bike because it is convenient and it works for my schedule, but I also know that I have a car that I can drive if I want or need to.  I know that many other people don't have that option.  I enjoy biking because it is fun and novel, the weather is nice right now, and I can make some choices about where I need to be and at what time.  For others, biking, walking, or taking the bus for long distances is not a choice, but a necessity.  I don't want to forget that.  I hope that this experience, like so many others, will help me to live into being more compassionate and more informed about this world that we live in.  There is always more to learn.

I'm sure that I will have days where bike commuting will be a pain.  I'm curious to see what winter will be like, and how I will handle biking when it rains for days on end.  It will continue to be a good learning experience, which is what this year is all about.  

I am grateful that biking is one of my many teachers.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Captivity and freedom

[Jesus said,] "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because God has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.  God has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.
Luke 4:18-19

Did you know that 36% of the Bible is written about or from prison?  It's easier to see if you expand "prison" to include slavery, captivity, exile, and confinement.  The foundational character of Christianity, Jesus Christ, was accused, tried, and executed by the Roman Empire for committing the crime of sedition--basically rabble-rousing.  The book of Acts records at least nine stories of arrest.  The Apostle Paul wrote four of his books from prison (Ephesians, Philemon, Colossians, and Philippians).  The book of Revelation was written from a work camp.  And the enslavement and subsequent exile of the Israelites are two primary themes in the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament).  

Prison is an important place from which to read Scripture.  I will be doing that this fall.  I am taking a course called Biblical Incarceration.  Half of the students are divinity school students, and half are from a local prison.  We read the same books, complete the same assignments, and share more things in common than not.  We are all women.  We are all have hopes and dreams, fears and things we wish we hadn't done.  We differ in where we live--some inside of a correctional center, others outside of its walls.  We differ in that it might be possible for me to find information on Google about some very difficult times in my classmates' lives.  I might be able to read about something of which they are ashamed on in a very public forum.  They can't do the same about me.  For one thing, they don't have access to computers or the Internet.  For another, I, like so many of us, keep the things of which I am ashamed mostly shrouded in silence.  My classmates who live in prison often don't have that option.  

Last night was our first class together.  It was hugely eye-opening, to say the least.  I began to think about captivity and release, and freedom and oppression.  My classmates in captivity live circumscribed lives.  They must wear a certain color of clothing, and be present at particular places at specific times.  They live within hierarchies and systems and levels of privilege that are earned in certain ways.  They think in terms of the outside world.  In contrast, I have an almost unimaginable amount of freedom.  Every day, I choose what to wear and eat, where I will go and when, who I will see and what I will do.   I have constraints on my life, like everyone else, but I also have a level of autonomy that is hard to fathom in many, many places, including prison.  

In the past, when I have read the words of Jesus that are recorded in Luke 4:18-19, I have tended to spiritualize them.  I have thought, well, we are all captive and blind and oppressed to some degree, aren't we?  We all struggle with forces and situations within ourselves or in the outside world, so Jesus comes to liberate all of us.  Yes, he does.  But my "captivity" is not the same as literally being captive inside a correctional facility.  The kind of release and freedom that I imagine is in a different category than freedom from prison walls.  For the first time, I am looking at those words of Jesus in a more literal way.  What does it mean to go to prison, to live there in a place and situation that is not of your own choosing?  What does it mean to be released from that kind of captivity?

I don't know.  I have lots of questions and no easy answers.  But I am deeply grateful for the chance to learn alongside all of my classmates, those who live in prison and those who do not.  Together we will listen and speak, learn and question, and hopefully, in some small way, be released from our own captivity.  

This is the prayer with which we will end each class.  May it be a comfort to you today, whether the captivity and freedom you wrestle with and long for is literal or figurative.

Visit this place, O Lord, and drive far from it all snares of the enemy; let your holy angels dwell with us to preserve us in peace; and let your blessing be upon us always; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.